City Parking

I like to think that everyone does at least one thing well. Myself, I can do two. 1) Train cats to be my unholy army of the night. 2) Parallel park. I wont call myself an expert at parking, for reasons that I will explain later, but I am mighty good at it. Ask Chopper, he saw the skills at work.

Anyway, here is the deal. With this new apt., I have to park on busy streets, where before there was no shortage of parking spots. I usually parked in an angle parking space. Now, I have to circle my block and others to find spots. What really pisses me off are these assholes who dont know how to do it. I dont expect everyone to be as good as I am, but some level of competence is necessary.

First are the people who fail to realize that there is a good three feet in front and behind the car once they have pulled in. What this does is limit the number of cars that can fit in the designated area. Your 85 Pontiac Sunfire will be OK if tapped by another car. Make room for everyone.

Second are the people who cant get it right the first time, and force traffic to wait for them while the jimmy the car back and forth, while still sticking out into the road. If you screw up, leave the spot, and squeal your tires in anger when you do. You are wasting my time.

Third, and this is just jealousy on my part...There are reasons for no parking zones. All of you assholes who park there and dont get tickets need to understand the law. It took me until my old car got towed to realize this. When your time comes and the parking Nazis get you, I hope you dont have a ride to the impound lot. Which really sucks balls by the way.

On a lighter note, I did something tonight that is awesome. I live around a lot of one-way streets. Parallel parking on the left side of the road is a different ballgame, to be sure. The angles are different, and it is tough to judge distance from the other side of the car. But I did it, on the first try, in heavy traffic. This is why I am not an expert. I have tried it before with mixed results. But I did it. Having a smal sample size from which to draw from, I would say that makes me 1 of three times done with satisfactory results.

For a goof.....How not to do it.